When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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