just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize