6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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