my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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