"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
