He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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