Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Enjoy the penises
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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