Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
