I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
