My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
