I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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