I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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