Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
