Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize