I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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