It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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