I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I lost the right to judge tonight
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
