And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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