8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
