Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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