Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
