dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
