I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
