a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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