I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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