i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize