You just made me feel so damn special
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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