he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
