i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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