Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
