so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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