The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
