how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
