dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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