thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
