I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
