Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
