the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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