Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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