I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
