i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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