idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
