I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
