Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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