It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Alive.
So much puke
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
