Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
A bitchslap is in order.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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