Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
