belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize