Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
