nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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