Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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