He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
