I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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