just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
