i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize