they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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