I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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