Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
