More tranny stories later!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
