I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize