It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
