You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
