i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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