Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
