Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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