we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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