hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
