You work out of a Hotel?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
